IM SO EXCITED!!!!

Notice....

Due to time constraints that my training at FMTB school is going to inevitably place on me, I am going to be posting solely on my home page being the original IEN and not "Words to Live By" or "Barley and Hops". Once I get home and things settle a down and I have more time, I hope to continue my postings on these pages, but for now, please check my homepage to see the latest postings. Thank you for visiting my site, I assure you it is greatly appreciated. And please please please, I really want as much commentary as possible, so email me (chadmichaels78@gmail.com) or comment directly on the site. I will always respond. Thanks again and hope to hear from you soon.....

GPS....

So, all week last week while we were traveling I was using my GPS Navigator software on my Verizon Voyager cell phone. It worked great....while in town. However, I ran into one small little glitch, dependency. I got so used to just searching and navigating that I simply never looked back. So when we left Wilmington to head back to the airport just outside Jacksonville, I typed in the address and listened to the directions, never once cracking open the map to see where it was I was going. All probably would have been well, however, once I got out into the middle of nowhere, I saw what I did not want to see, ROAD CLOSED - BRIDGE WORK UP AHEAD. Wait a minute!!!! The GPS didn't mention anything about the road being closed!!! Where the hell am I anyway? O wait, it's okay, I'll just use the detour option and recalculate my route, geez no big deal. O, wait, it's not okay, I have no signal out here, ERROR, CANNOT RECALCULATE. Damn.

I pulled out the map and realized I probably could have given myself a better route after seeing where the GPS took me, but the reality is, had the bridge not been out, it wouldn't have been an issue. The bridge was out though and now I can't even look up my course because the GPS errored out. Looking at the map though, I triangulated a position based on prior roads/interstates I had taken. Our location was right in the middle of all the highways. You know what I mean, that area that shows nothing but the color based upon the elevation of that location. We were in an area of a light shade of yellowish gold. I think that means it's a low elevation, but other than that, I got nothing, fortunately, there was no emergency, I don't think that would suffice for a location had I needed to call 911. So, I did what any city slicker would do lost in the middle of the country, I stopped when I saw some old gentleman mowing his yard and explained how my GPS stopped working and how I had no idea where I was. I am not lying when I say I got the deer in headlights look when I explained my GPS predicament. I could have spoke chinese and probably gotten farther into the conversation. However, when I asked how to get to the airport, a switch must have flicked on, and he politely explained how a turn here and a turn there would get me to where I needed to go.

Lessons learned:
GPS is only as good as its user.
Dependency actually is a bad thing.
And lastly, all the technology in the world will never beat, (say with a deep southern twang) turn right at the next stop sign, look for a big rock on the side of the road about a mile or so, and turn right again. Go until you see the big dead oak tree and hang a left, and there you'll be.....

Some days are better than others....

I would like to contest that those six words in the title are simply the best words to live by if there are any. For the past week I have been with Lauren, and experiencing a new place, Wilmington, NC, and it was awesome. We spent the first few days in Raleigh, then Jacksonville (to save some money as this is where I live right now) and then, spontaneously, we went to Wilmington, for really what I figured would be a day, maybe two, as I figured we would hit the downtown area and then the beach and then just come back. But after spending four days there, I realized I wish I had more money and more time.

So anyways, some days are better than others. Some days, you cannot wait for them to be over, and then there are those few days where you pray to God that time will just slow if not completely stop. Ironically, I don't pray to God for much these days, so I suppose it would be foolish to ask Him for time to stop. Of course, that's silly to ask for anyways, but right now, it seems so possible. Why not? Time seems to fly by, but it just never seems to go as slow as we want, well, unless you're at work and you're ready to go. That's life in a nut shell though, I guess. It's why we should never take for granted the good times I suspect.

Well, Lauren flew out today, actually her flight is leaving momentarily. She is probably just now going through security. It's a small airport here and they don't have you go through security until your flight is boarding. I am just guessing, but she is probably standing there, bags in hand, thinking about this past week, and thinking some days, just some days, are better than others...At least, that is my presumption, I could just be really depressed. So raise your laptops, your bottled water, your Venti Mocha Cappuccino, or maybe just your fist in frustration, but here's to those days, you know, the ones that are better than others.....

Quick thoughts....

Ethiopia and other 3rd world countries plagued by starvation and health care issues should just adopt the American welfare system and have McDonalds on every corner like we do here, solving both health care and hunger issues. Sure it puts the government in debt and ultimately creates a devastating health care issue later down the road, but hey, it works for us apparently.

"I will make you lazy yet."

Ever heard the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'? I hated that phrase, largely because I had no idea what it meant, until now that is. Mind your Pints and Quarts is what the British Navy use to tell their sailors when they pulled into port somewhere so as to not drink too much. Any phrase about drinking is awesome in my book, unless of course it's "I'm joining AA". Damn quitter.

A J Squared away. Does that mean you are only mediocre, because if you were truly completely squared away, shouldn't it be A to Z some how?

"I'm all over it like white on rice on a paper plate in a snow storm."

Quote from one of the guys (for their safety, I can't say their name) - "I wish my wife were cool."

Self Realization

Hyphenated word of the day is self-realization. Today I realized the only person I seem to be able to entertain on a consistent basis is me. Ha! (Blink, blink, blink, you sit staring at the screen, thinking what? My point proven.)

Quick thoughts

From pirate to privateer to governor to rum manufacturer: Captain Henry Morgan. Typical life of a politician. Former version of Ted Kennedy perhaps?

This morning at PT a rather overweight person commented and tried to convince everyone else:
"Fat people are generally happier than skinny people because they eat. Look at super models, they are mean and vicious and why? Because they never eat! You never see crazy fat people running into banks trying to hold a robbery or going postal at work and why? Because they are not starving themselves. I'd much rather eat while I live than die hungry. Look at whales, they're happy!" He forgot to mention buoyant as well.

Coming from the same sailor:
You know how I look at the remainder of my naval career? (He has in 16 years now) I only have 4 PRT's left...

How is it that I am surprised when the food at a fast food restaurant sucks?

Noticed the new design of the coke cans for the olympics? Why is it that the U.S. can design is 3 out of 5? Is it just me or shouldn't it be 1st, not the Russian can? Maybe it's a conspiracy, it is a red can...

A toast to remember:
To who we were, to who we will be, to who we are, to who we want to be....

There is a door at work that I walk through occasionally that says FP HALLA. Of course it's suppose to say FP HALL A. But the space between the L and A is not very pronounced. So of course the first thing I thought was Holla!!! So whenever we have to go get medical records from family practice, Mercer and I always say with foolish humor "FP HALLA!!! WORD YO!!!" or something along those lines. Okay, definitely one of those had to be there things....

I swear I'm not a blog dick!!! (Sorry Steffen.....no obligation required....total misunderstanding... hehe)

Inside Joke:
Here's the thing about PM'n, it doesn't matter what kind of beer you drink, so long as you are drinking beer.

Drunken ramblings:
Screw the hype, Wikipedia is the bizzomb!!

More Drunken ramblings:
I got my ass handed to me like I was on a rotisserie.

Quoting Matt Ward in terms of doing something stupid and losing your job:
"Unlimited time, limited income."

Compromise

I don't think, word of the day is always going to be humorous anymore, after all, I'm just not a comedian and plus, some days, not even I feel like laughing. I will say this much, after being in an argument with my significant other, I learned something about myself. And what's ironic is people have been telling me this for years but I just never listen. Sometimes, who is wrong or right doesn't matter as much as figuring out how to resolve the issue. Compromise though, is never easy to come by as I don't want to feel like I am the reason something is wrong. The problem I have is I always like to prove I am right when I feel I am right. Now whether or not I am is debatable and whether or not I need to prove to any one else I am probably isn't necessary either. Time and time again though, I find myself, feeling that guilt soak in after I just pressed an issue, and I cannot help but feel bad. At times, I bury that emotion of guilt, and just stick to my guns, and other times I apologize and try and make amends. What's horrible is, tomorrow, I might just make this mistake again, because, I have found that is how I tick. I make a decision only long enough to feel better and then I slowly slip back to my old habits. I am truly a horrible person sometimes. Hopefully though, this is just life and the development of my character. Otherwise, maybe I am the only person like this, and you are all shaking your heads in disgust. Tomorrow is a new day though, and hopefully, I stick to being this new person I am trying to develop. Not really new, but just evolved and somehow bettered if that is possible. Maybe today is a look in the mirror type day. There is a world of discovery inside, I think, when we examine ourselves. I keep hoping one of these days, I will be like Columbus and find that New World inside of me that allows me to just live life and be more accepting and less worried. I'll let you know when I find it. Hell, have you found yours?

Energy

Did you know that on the congressional floor, the word energy was used 396 times on July 10th, 536 times on July 8th, 441 times on June 23rd, 641 on June 12th, 488 on June 10th, 129 on June 6th, 1244 on June 5th, 884 on June 4th, 536 on June 3rd, and 220 on June 2nd. I mean really, is it just me, or do we talk about something more than anyone in compared to how many times action is taken upon that topic being talked about? It's crazy! Enter Congress, where more is talked about and less is done than even the UN, and that is saying something. As a matter of fact, the only two other words that even come close to the count are not surprisingly, "oil" and "housing". And I realize this is suppose to be the blog that makes you laugh and not stresses you out I mean hell, right now you're like, "Thanks, I was just thinking about how to pay the bills and now I gotta go drop fifty bucks at the damn gas station." And I agree, it used to cost me twenty.-five to thirty dollars to fill up my car, its now fifty plus. It's a fifteen gallon tank! Anyways, I do find it to the point of humor though. I mean really, what are you going to do about it? Ride your bike everywhere? Good on you if you can do that, but most can't and that is the issue. I love the forwards I still get (these started back when gas was at two bucks a gallon.... oh how I miss those days...), boycott gas for such and such date. Oh yeah that works, because whichever weekend you just skipped, that Monday, everyone is filling up. Here's my bit on it, do what you do. If you love your SUV and use it because you have a family of five and it's more convenient, roll with it. The reality is, I had a family of four, and the SUV was perfect. So what if it burns more gas, here's the truth, American's have always lived their lives constantly trying to improve it and make it better. If you're a single guy and you own an SUV then yeah, maybe you could bump yourself down to be more economical, but really? Do we have to make that choice? I mean in Europe, gas has always been expensive, but so what? Does that mean we have to deal with it here? No, and why? Because legislation has been in place for years to prohibit companies from creating monopolies. Here is the reality, while there are different oil companies out there, they all know that as long as they work together they will make more money in the long run, point in case, present case scenario with your 'favorite' gas station. So here is what you do, tell your senators and representatives to support legislation providing private industry the funding to enter hydrogen and ethanol refueling stations. (Meaning no, we do not need even more government intervention) No it's not a quick fix, but, as long as there is variety there is competition and as long as there is competition there is a better price. Good luck out there, and if you're driving an SUV, I know your pain...

Source for words:
http://www.capitolwords.org/date/2008-07-10/
(Click the word to see the previous days word.)

Google...

Google is my life. I mean that when it applies to my internet life that is. It is by far my search engine of choice, although, I have to admit, SearchMe.com is pretty damn cool. But Google, is by far and away the best of search engines in my opinion when it comes to that subject. You can search for anything there, including yourself. So, in saying that, surely you have Googled your name by now. Everyone has, I think(largely generalizing of course, but why not, it's so much fun and it helps me make my point). However, depending on your name or what you have on the internet in terms of social networks, blogs or web pages, you might turn up something or nothing at all. Or in my case, you could find out that unfortunately, sometimes, you just wish you never would have Googled your name at all. Yes that's right, apparently there is a Chad Michaels out there who has made a significant amount of money dressing up as Cher, Marilyn Manson, Celine Dion, and list goes on. Good for him. I'm glad as a man he felt comfortable enough to dress up as a woman, or maybe he just enjoyed the comfortable shoes. (Sorry bad joke.) Anyways, for a good laugh for all those who know me, go for it, head over to Google, or be smart and make it your default search engine through your internet browser, and check out just what I am talking about. And while you're there, if you haven't searched your name yet, feel free to see just what the rest of the world sees when they see your name online....

Ha!

HA! - My aunt does that. Every time I see it typed I can hear her voice saying it. It's so weird. Now I noticed my uncle does it when he is writing me. I don't remember him ever saying it though. And then just the other day, out of no where, I was writing something I thought was funny in a blog and without warning those two letters and exclamation point appeared, and at that second, I thought damn it, I have the HA! gene. I mean think about how weird that is. To be honest there is nothing wrong with it, it's just odd how you're family is inside of your very DNA coding. For example, when I sleep, more so when I was younger, I would wake up laying on my back, with one knee up in the air and the opposite foot would be resting on it, like a gentleman crossing his legs when he is sitting up (not to mention awake). Now while that seems odd and strange, whats crazier about that is, my daughter does it. What the hell goes on in our body when we aren't thinking about it? What do you do when you're asleep? My grandpa use to have conversations with himself, loud conversations, he would laugh and yell and you would have swore he had like a clean mouth version of Tourette's Syndrome. It would scare the hell out of me some nights when I sleeping at their house. Out of no where, across the whole house, you'd hear "HEY HOW'S IT GOING!?" I'd jump in my bed. It freaked me out, especially because I was young, and really when you're young anything out of the norm is super weird and at least with me, my imagination went to town with what was going on. I keep waiting, knowing now what I know, when I stay with my parents to hear my dad just yell in the middle of the night, "HEY HOW'S IT GOING?" Although, actually, now, I think I'd just laugh and roll over and go back to sleep. Either that, or I might just say back, "GREAT, HOW ARE YOU?!"

Hehehe

All those who grew up on AOL Instant Messenger know what I am talking about, actually, who doesn't know what I'm talking about, even my mom types that on text messages she sends me. (Thats so weird to, getting texts from my mom, this is a young person thing right? No worries mom, you're still young to me. hehehe) For those of you who are still living in the cave of rotary phones and analog TV by the antenna on top of the roof (of course, that population of people probably aren't going to be on this blog anyways, but hey, run me with here on this) no I'm not stuttering, I wasn't try to say the pronoun 'he' over and over again for fun, there is no remake of Rainman coming up and if there is, I'm not practicing for the role, I was trying to imply that I was laughing. Although, to be quite honest, if I did laugh like that it would be rather sinister I do believe. Of course its not a muahahaha type laugh like I'm going to take over the world, its more like a hey I just told a little white lie about you to the gossip queen down the street and in less than 30 minutes the whole neighborhood will have a completely distorted version of what I said making it sound so much worse. hehehe yeah, its that kind of creepy laugh. On a much lighter note, to tack on to my OCD issue with periods (see my post If the memories could speak...) I now have this issue with hehehe and wink. I use them both obsessively. Every time something is even remotely funny I slap one or the other or some times both at the end of the funny joke. Especially when being sarcastic too, because I start to think, what if they think I'm serious? then they might get pissed off, which in reality, would never happen, but as I've already admitted, I'm a worrier. (And maybe just a little crazy.) Anyway, there it is, the word of the day. I almost want to have a number of the day too, just so I can say One! ah ah ah, Two! ah ah ah, Three.... the Count made Sesame Street so cool...